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I have a Rocky 2 and 4 level work ethic, and believe in getting the job done right every time. In fact, my methods are so effective that a fleet of real ninjas once set sail for New York in order to ask for the secret to success. I rowed a small skiff (sponsored by Stella Artois) out to where they were moored and set their ships ablaze – because I fully grasp the importance of protecting proprietary information.

When I’m not working, I spend my time refining my hit-or-miss knowledge in parenting and trying to learn from my amazing wife Rachael. As my son Dylan has just turned 2 and will soon be a big brother. I believe that my ‘first time, learn on the fly parenting’ approach will forge a more self-sufficient son (little Dylan has already mastered basic survival skills such as hunting, trapping, and pooping). Never hesitate to contact me. Seriously.